I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
