your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
