I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
