WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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