Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am available for nakedness
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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