A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
