My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
