Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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