i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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