i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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