dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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