the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
