he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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