Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
