Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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