OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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