'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
