Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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