You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
