im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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