That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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