On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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