i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
