That's intense
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
