If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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