yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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