You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
