This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
