You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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