is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
