i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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