He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
