You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
