They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
jump out the window naked night went bad
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