How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
