I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
