Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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