Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
