What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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