think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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