Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
