we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
