One girl and one boy is just not enough.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
