you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
