omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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