She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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