I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
