She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
