The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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