I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
