Midget sex pt 2 tonight
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
